Father’s Provision

My husband has been at the top of his game professionally for over two decades.  In light of this,  I am always puzzled when he periodically expresses unease regarding his job proficiency.   During a recent exchange on the subject,  I was compelled to ask a question.   “When are you going to believe you are an amazing provider?” He didn’t respond,  but I could tell the inquiry landed.

In a few days,  he got back to me.  The question made him think and conclude that in 32 years of marriage,  we have never missed a meal.   We have lived in two states, purchased three homes,  educated two amazing daughters,  taken vacations and still managed to pull off Christmas every year.     We have been given the grace to bless others and honored to do so.  We have experienced financial, physical, and relational storms like every family,  but been neither overwhelmed nor overcome.    He went on to say the bigger lesson for him was coming to see that the worry and stress he has expended over the years has been utterly wasted energy…. because God has always provided.   He’s never failed us.  Not once.

As he was sharing this insight,  I suddenly envisioned our girls standing before him.   They appeared as toddlers but quickly transitioned into children, pre-teens, teens and young adults.    Throughout this metamorphosis,  they were questioning him.    “Daddy,  you’ve always taken care of us,  but will you continue?   Are you sure you can meet our needs?   Dad,  are you able?  Are you willing?”    As the vision continued,  I watched my husband’s face as he observed their fear.   He was perplexed.   Perplexed  because in all their lives,  he had never failed to provide.

The vision then shifted….from my husband’s face to the face of the Father.

If you are like me you have often pictured God as a harsh bearded judge,  particularly  if you didn’t have a nurturing biological father.   But this is not who He is.   He has experienced sorrow.   Scripture tells us Jesus wept at the news of Lazarus‘ death.  It warns against grieving the Holy Spirit.   The Lord displayed hurt when the money changers desecrated His house.   God feels and He feels deeply.

Like my daughters in the vision and my husband with his job angst,  I have questioned.   Are you willing God?  Will you do it for me?   Dare I trust you to meet my needs?    It’s okay to ask.  Moses, John and others asked.   God has no problem with our needing reassurance.  But at some point,  we should be growing into the place of trusting rest, confident He has anticipated our needs and will supply the provision.    The problem isn’t God’s inability or unwillingness to meet our needs but rather,  our ability to believe and receive.   To understand like any loving father,  He takes responsibility as well as pleasure in providing for His children.  What is your need?   A relationship restored?   Healing?  Direction?  Peace?

One of God’s Hebrew names is Jehovah-Jireh.    It means…..the God who provides.  Our challenge is to receive. Only receive.